No Touching Read online

  ROBERT touches JAKE’s back. HE keeps HIS fingers still for a moment, and then lightly pushes.

  JAKE (CONT.)

  Yeah, right there. Nothing?

  ROBERT

  If you bruised the muscle, it could take a day or two to show.

  JAKE turns around with HIS left arm still moving in the air. ROBERT’s hand stays on JAKE’s body until it is over JAKE’s chest. ROBERT’s hand stays there for a moment, until HE realizes JAKE is looking right at him. ROBERT pulls back HIS hand, and the two stare at each other.

  JAKE

  It’s…okay. I didn’t warn you. Didn’t turn you on or anything, right?

  ROBERT

  Right.

  JAKE

  Then we’re good

  JAKE goes into the bedroom. ROBERT rubs HIS fingers together and thinks. JAKE comes back in wearing HIS work shirt.

  JAKE

  I have to go work…again…maybe.

  ROBERT

  Go to work.

  JAKE

  You sure?

  ROBERT

  If it helps, think about how famous I’m going to make you. On that day, you’ll look back on all of this and laugh.

  JAKE

  Yeah, that’ll be sweet. Getting paid for being pretty.

  ROBERT

  Handsome. Girls are pretty. Men are handsome, and you are definitely that.

  JAKE

  What?

  ROBERT

  Artistically speaking, of course.

  JAKE

  Yeah. You’re lucky to have me, you know. Appreciate what you got.

  ROBERT

  I do.

  JAKE

  See you later.

  JAKE rushes out the door before ROBERT has a chance to say it back.

  ROBERT

  I do.

  END ACT I, SCENE VII

  ACT I, SCENE VIII

  There is a blank canvass on ROBERT’s easel. HE has set up painting supplies.

  SFX: water running in a faucet.

  LIZA (OS)

  Robert?

  The door wasn’t closed. LIZA enters.

  LIZA

  Robert, can I say some things to you?

  SFX: the water is turned off.

  ROBERT enters wiping HIS hands and ready to paint.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  I’ve been calling you for three days. Can I please talk to?

  ROBERT

  Go ahead.

  ROBERT goes to his blank canvas and starts painting.

  LIZA

  I’m sorry for touching you like I did. It was unprofessional and I guess it was mean to grab you.

  ROBERT

  I’m okay.

  LIZA

  No, we had a good thing going and I ruined it. All you wanted to do was talk. I didn’t mean to hurt you.

  ROBERT

  I’m fine.

  ROBERT notices that LIZA has been crying.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  Are you okay? I said you didn’t hurt me.

  LIZA wipes HER face.

  LIZA

  Am I still crying? This isn’t over you. I feel bad, but I’m crying for someone else.

  ROBERT

  Who?

  LIZA

  It doesn’t matter. I’m here for you.

  ROBERT

  Tell me.

  LIZA

  April’s dead. My friend, the one who told you…

  ROBERT

  I remember. How did she die?

  LIZA

  April was always going down bad alleys without telling her manager. She’d crawl out bruised and bleeding, but she’d always go back for more. I knew she was going to end up dead sooner or later.

  ROBERT

  What happened to her?

  LIZA

  They found her…they found her last night lying behind some dumpster. She thought she was shooting up heroin, but I guess her dealer slipped her something else. I was asked to identify her. The needle was still in her arm. She looked so…so…

  LIZA is about to break into tears again.

  ROBERT

  Don’t worry, Liza. The police will investigate her case and find the dealer. They have to, right?

  LIZA

  It’s a dangerous job, Robert. No one cares about us. Hell, I could fall off the earth and no one would miss me.

  ROBERT

  I’d miss you.

  LIZA

  Yeah, but you’re different from other people.

  ROBERT

  No I’m not.

  LIZA

  Robert, you’re probably the safest client I’ve ever had. You’re a good person.

  ROBERT

  You shouldn’t be standing right now.

  ROBERT pulls one of his chairs for HER to sit on.

  LIZA

  Sitting down’s not going to change anything.

  LIZA sits down.

  Beat.

  ROBERT

  Tell me about her.

  LIZA

  April? She was the stupidest woman I’ve ever met. Worked without rubbers. She said she was allergic to them. I couldn’t tell if she was joking or thought I was stupid enough to believe her. She knew some funny stories though.

  ROBERT

  Tell me one.

  LIZA

  I don’t remember them. They were funny, because she told them funny. She was crazy.

  ROBERT

  None of us is completely sane.

  LIZA laughs.

  Beat.

  LIZA

  Why don’t you like being touched?

  ROBERT

  I just don’t.

  ROBERT goes back to painting.

  LIZA

  There’s got to be a reason.

  Beat.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Something bad happen? Did it happen when you were a kid?

  ROBERT

  I don’t want to talk about it.

  LIZA

  You’re going to have to. I can’t keep coming around here without knowing why you don’t want to be touched.

  ROBERT

  Why not?

  LIZA

  If we aren’t doing anything but talking, then…I can’t treat you as a customer. You’ll have to be my friend.

  ROBERT

  Really?

  LIZA

  I don’t need any more friends. I have dozens of them. But I can’t take your money if we aren’t doing it, and I can’t just talk without being friends. This is very confusing, Robert!

  ROBERT

  I’m sorry.

  LIZA

  Don’t say you’re sorry. Tell me why I can’t touch you.

  ROBERT

  I don’t want to.

  LIZA

  Do it!

  ROBERT

  I can’t!

  ROBERT makes an unforgivable mistake on the painting.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  Damn it!

  ROBERT throws the painting on the floor.

  A Beat.

  LIZA

  You feel better now?

  ROBERT

  Liza, I have so many secrets. So many horrible things about me. Why does anyone need to know what I really am?

  LIZA

  Would you do it if I told you my big secret? Told you my worst memory? Would that get you to say it?

  A Beat.

  ROBERT

  It might.

  LIZA

  I’ll tell you, but come over here and stop hiding from me, okay?

  ROBERT puts down the brush and gets HIS own chair to sit closely to LIZA.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Okay, now I’m only telling you this so we can be friends. I don’t tell people this story much, because they always pity me. You going to feel bad and look at me funny later?

  ROBERT

  No. Never.

  LIZA

  Okay then. The first man I was with was my step-daddy.

  Beat.

  LIZA (CONT.)


  I was eleven, and back then my momma was into crack. She’d come home and smoke that stuff right in her brain. She’d pass out, and then Rex would have his way with me. Me and my sister.

  ROBERT

  Oh, my god.

  LIZA

  We’re twins. That turned him on bad, seeing us both turn into women. Women at thirteen.

  LIZA turns away to hide HER tears from ROBERT. HE grabs one of his painting rags and hands it to her.

  ROBERT

  Here.

  LIZA

  I’m fine.

  LIZA takes the rag, wipes the tears away, and hands it back.

  ROBERT

  What did he do?

  LIZA

  He-

  SFX: ROBERT’s cell phone rings.

  HE pushes a button to end the call.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  I’m sorry. What happened to you?

  LIZA

  The first night, he came into our bedroom…and took off his clothes…and got into Laura’s bed. I heard everything. He told her to be quiet. Told her it was nature. And when he…did his thing, he was looking right at me the whole time.

  ROBERT

  While he was with your sister?

  LIZA

  Guess it turned him on. He was looking right at me. I couldn’t see her face, but I heard her crying. I didn’t do anything to stop him.

  ROBERT

  What could you have done? You were thirteen.

  LIZA

  I could have done something, wake my momma up. But I was afraid she’d hit me for making trouble. So I stayed in bed, watching Rex and Laura, and then he came to me. It took longer for me.

  ROBERT

  That’s horrible. Did you turn him in to the police?

  LIZA

  He said he’d kill Laura if I said anything to the cops.

  ROBERT

  How long did this go on for?

  LIZA

  He stole my mom’s stash a month later, and she threw him out. I never heard about him ever again.

  ROBERT

  What happened to your sister?

  LIZA

  Same as me, hooking.

  ROBERT

  You’re more than a hooker, Liza.

  LIZA

  Shows what you know. She lives in France now. Moved to Paris saying “They know how to treat us working girls better over there.” That was five years ago. I get a postcard from her now and again. She sent me this sash for our birthday.

  LIZA touches the sash.

  ROBERT

  How can you do what you do after that?

  LIZA

  I don’t know. It’s the only thing I’m good at.

  ROBERT

  You’re good at talking to me.

  LIZA

  It’s your turn.

  ROBERT

  My turn?

  LIZA

  Yeah, your turn to spill it. It can’t be any worse than my story.

  ROBERT

  I…can’t.

  ROBERT gets the canvas off the ground and places it back on the easel.

  LIZA

  Yeah, you can. It’s your turn.

  ROBERT

  I don’t want you to see me differently.

  LIZA

  I won’t. You don’t see me any different, do you? I’m not disgusting, am I?

  ROBERT

  No. You’re beautiful.

  LIZA

  Then tell me your story.

  ROBERT

  No.

  LIZA

  Tell me!

  Beat.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  I’m leaving.

  LIZA moves to leave, but ROBERT runs and takes hold of HER arm.

  ROBERT

  Don’t go! Please don’t go.

  LIZA

  Tell me what happened or you’ll never see me again.

  Beat.

  ROBERT

  Okay, I’ll tell. I’ll tell you everything.

  A Beat.

  LIZA

  Go ahead. I’m listening.

  A Beat.

  LIZA (Cont.)

  Come on, Robert! Act like you got a pair.

  ROBERT

  I don’t! I don’t have a pair! I… don’t have anything!

  LIZA

  Wha…what? What did you say? Robert, tell me!

  ROBERT

  My mother was a drug user too. She couldn’t stop herself, even when she was pregnant. She was too messed up to go to a hospital, so she had me on the streets, wrapped me up in newspaper, and never told anyone. But there was something wrong with me. She never talked to me about it, but I figured it out on my own. When I was five, she got money and sent me to a doctor. He told me why I was different…down there.

  Beat.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  He said that I had both parts, but he chose to make me a girl.

  LIZA

  You poor …

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  But I got sick a week after the surgery. The medicine he gave me wasn’t enough. I almost died.

  LIZA

  Did you go to a hospital?

  ROBERT goes back to the canvas and paints, correcting the previously made mistake.

  ROBERT

  I was dropped off at one…or I guess. I don’t remember. After I was better, a lady came and told me I’d never live with my mother ever again. I was a ward of the state, and I’d live with a new family…as a girl.

  LIZA

  Why are…you went back to…

  ROBERT stops painting.

  ROBERT

  Why am I a man?

  LIZA

  Yeah.

  ROBERT

  I don’t know. I never felt like a woman. I never played with dolls or liked to dress up. I’ve always known I was meant to be a man. After I graduated college, I moved to a new city, started hormone treatment, and I changed my name to Robert.

  LIZA

  What was your girl name?

  ROBERT

  Juliette.

  LIZA

  That’s horrible. That’s plain horrible.

  ROBERT

  Do you see me differently?

  LIZA

  No. I mean, yes, but no. I don’t know.

  ROBERT

  Are you going to leave?

  LIZA

  No. I’ll stay.

  ROBERT

  You will?

  LIZA

  Yes. You told me something personal, just like I did for you. We’re friends now, and Liza Healy is always loyal to her friends.

  ROBERT hugs HER.

  ROBERT

  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  LIZA

  It’s okay.

  LIZA hugs ROBERT back. THEY stand together for awhile, and then ROBERT kisses LIZA. THEY are both shocked by what just happened. ROBERT moves back and looks for HER reaction. LIZA tastes HER lips and smiles. ROBERT smiles back.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  That was nice.

  ROBERT

  Yes.

  Beat.

  LIZA

  You want more?

  END ACT I, SCENE VIII

  ACT I, SCENE IX

  JAKE is dressed very fashionably. HE looks a little puzzled. It’s as if HE’s wondering whether or not to be nervous. HE checks the time, but obviously what HE’s waiting for hasn’t come yet.

  SFX: knocking on the front door.

  LIZA (OS)

  Jake?

  JAKE

  Yeah.

  LIZA enters.

  LIZA

  Don’t you look all dressed up.

  JAKE

  Well, I’m not a slob all the time. I can look good if I feel like it.

  LIZA

  I know. I have your painting, remember?

  JAKE

  So…how do we do this?

  LIZA

  You don’t know?

  JAKE

  Nope.

  L
IZA

  You’re telling me you’ve never done this before?

  JAKE

  Screw a woman? Oh yeah. Pay for it? No.

  LIZA

  Sure you haven’t.

  JAKE

  I haven’t.

  LIZA

  You don’t have to lie about it to me. I promise not to tell your friends on you.

  JAKE

  Hell, I already told them.

  LIZA

  You what?

  JAKE

  My buddy asked me how I was going to spend my bonus from work. I told him.

  LIZA

  Really? What did he say?

  JAKE

  He wondered why I’d spend that much money on one woman for one night, seeing as five drinks at a good bar doesn’t cost half that.

  LIZA

  And what did you say?

  JAKE

  I told him…I just have to know what I’m missing out on.

  LIZA

  Nice story. Where’s the money?

  JAKE takes out the wadded four $100 bills out from his pocket, but keeps it in HIS hand.