We Interrupt This Program Read online



  We Interrupt This Program

  By

  Justin Blasdel

  Justin Blasdel

  11/18/09

  Version 7

  [email protected]

  Cast

  Floyd Aable ( “AY-bull”); Late 20’s Husband, coal factory worker

  Beulah Aable; Early 20’s Wife, dish washer

  Neal Odom (“OH-dum”); Mid 30’s Husband, journalist

  Evelyn Odom; Late 20’s Wife, part-time seamstress

  Time

  October 31, 1939; Halloween Night

  Place

  Bellingham, WA (20 minutes before blackout); two middle-class apartments

  Production Notes: I have been given permission to play any audio clips from the Orson Welles “War of the Worlds” radio show. If you require the actual email, please contact me.

  There are two apartments onstage separated by a wall. In one apartment, we see a kitchen with a table, an AM radio, rotary telephone, and a window. In the other apartment, we see a living room with two comfortable chairs, an AM radio, a phone, and a window.

  FLOYD AABLE is a dim, hardworking man who is easily animated when the chance presents itself.

  NEAL ODOM is a fashionable, clean-cut journalist who lives well in a poor area.

  EACH is standing by HIS radio, listening to the horrifying show. These two men are about to hear one of the most important radio shows in history.

  SFX: Lines from Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” Radio Show, as follows…

  OPERATOR FOUR

  2X2L calling CQ. 2X2L calling CQ. 2X2L calling CQ. New York. Isn't there anyone on the air? Isn't there anyone on the air? Isn't there anyone...2X2L –

  THEY stand in silence trying to comprehend what was just heard.

  FLOYD

  Oh, god. They’re all dead!

  FLOYD taps the top of the radio a few times.

  NEAL

  Well…wasn’t that dingy. That’s enough radio for now.

  FLOYD and NEAL turn off their radios.

  FLOYD

  It’s happening. It’s happening!

  NEAL

  Aliens from Mars invading our planet, now that’s a show!

  FLOYD

  It has to be true, it has to be! They don’t lie on the radio.

  NEAL

  This Mercury Theatre company knows how to tell a story. I hope the other stations begin playing stories like that soon. I’m tired of listening about flatfoots over and over again.

  FLOYD

  Yeah, there’s the stories played for people at home, but that one was official! It didn’t sound nothing like a fake.

  NEAL

  Yet…I wonder if people could mistake it for a real broadcast.

  FLOYD

  It had doctors, it had scientists, it had soldiers…

  NEAL

  It had doctors, it had scientists, it had soldiers

  FLOYD

  What more proof do you need?

  NEAL

  You can probably fool anyone into thinking you’re an official somebody. I suppose one can sell snake oil to politicians if you’re convincing enough.

  FLOYD

  It didn’t have no commercials either! No commercials! All them shows play commercials, or else they wouldn’t get any money. Nah, it had to be real! They even had the Secretary of Int..Interior telling people about those aliens and how we still own the planet. It’s against the law to impersonate officials like that.

  NEAL

  But would a company really be that brave to air a show without a disclaimer? I must have missed it when I was listening to the “Chase and Sanborn Hour”. That’s reasonable. Heh, here I am on one station listening to a ventriloquist, then I’m hearing about the end of the world on another.

  FLOYD

  Those poor folks at Grover’s Mill…burnt to a crisp…all of ‘em. They didn’t stand a chance against that heat ray. None of ‘em.

  NEAL

  Flying saucers? Poisonous fog? Heat rays killing people with mirrors and light? Ridiculous! But death and destruction does sell. Perhaps I’ll write a review in tomorrow’s papers. Now, what did those aliens look like?

  Finding a pen, NEAL starts to mentally mark down the details of the story.

  FLOYD

  Good thing those reporters didn’t freeze up. Now I know what to look for…

  FLOYD

  Metal circles falling from the sky, snake-armed creatures with a ‘V’ for a mouth.

  NEAL

  Metal circles falling from the sky, snake-armed creatures with a ‘V’ for a mouth.

  NEAL

  Those are what Martians look like? If that’s true, then I don’t think I’ll be visiting anytime soon.

  FLOYD goes to look out the window up at the sky.

  FLOYD

  Nope, not seeing any yet, but they’re up at the bigger apples right now. Not enough of them to tear down every city. Wonder if I can see them flying around?

  FLOYD stops looking up at the sky.

  FLOYD

  Nope, but that doesn’t mean they won’t come. Look at that! The roads are stuffed with cars! People are leaving the city already!

  NEAL

  From Mars. Genius work. It’s the closest planet to ours, and we can see most of it through a telescope. Never mind that the whole of Mars looks like a desert. “If we can’t see life on the surface, then it must be hiding something underneath!” Ridiculous. I wonder what’s going through everyone’s minds right about now.

  FLOYD

  We have to prepare! We need guns, we need food, and we need shelter. Those space circles are killing everyone in the big cities. They ain’t worried about the hills and trees. I’ll call Cousin Hank. He lives out there on the farm. He’ll help me and the wife stay safe till the government takes care of this thing.

  FLOYD grabs the phone and dials.

  SFX: NEAL’s phone rings

  NEAL picks it up.

  NEAL

  Hello? Yes, mom. No…no…I’m sure it’s just a story… What? …Old Bill is selling all of his meats at half price?...He really believes the world is ending?

  NEAL finds the situation almost too hilarious. FLOYD hangs up the phone, wondering what could have happened.

  NEAL

  What?...No, I’m not laughing at you…Listen mom, it was only a show…A fake…Go down to Old Bill and buy some sausages for me…No, don’t tell Bill. You’ll have to pay full price…I understand you have to go now…Love you, too…Bye.

  FLOYD

  Why don’t he answer? Why don’t he answer? I got it! He’s already up in the hills. Maybe he heard the same thing on the radio, gathered his stuff, then took his family up where he makes his giggle juice. That’s where we gotta go too, right now! Beulah!

  FLOYD exits.

  EVELYN enters

  EVELYN ODOM is a part-time housewife with the need to speak her mind at all times. SHE’s dressed as a minor-league Donna Reed outfitted with mitts and apron.

  EVELYN

  Who calls you this late at night, Neal?

  NEAL

  Oh, it was mom.

  EVELYN

  I should have guessed.

  NEAL

  She heard a story from the radio about Martians invading planet earth…and believed it.

  EVELYN

  That old bird really think it was happening?

  NEAL

  Evelyn! That’s my mother.

  EVELYN

  I know she’s your mother. Why you let her live alone, I’ll never know.

  NEAL turns his head away from EVELYN, who is about to leave the room.

  NEAL

&nbs
p; Because you won’t let her live with us.

  EVELYN’s burning ear pulls her back into the room.

  EVELYN

  If I thought you were serious, I’d…I’d…flop down on this very spot and wouldn’t move till you apologized a thousand times.

  NEAL

  Please, muffin.

  NEAL realizes that EVELYN was cooking.

  NEAL

  Dinner’s going to burn.

  EVELYN

  I’m not going to move, and you can’t make me.

  NEAL

  Evelyn, I can see smoke. I’ll take care of it.

  EVELYN

  Oh, no you won’t!

  NEAL and EVELYN exit in a hurry. FLOYD and BEULAH enter.

  BEULAH is a young working woman who knows her place as the obedient wife, but still needs to be convinced once in awhile.

  FLOYD is pulling BEULAH by the arm towards the radio, trying to get HER to understand the gravity of the situation.

  BEULAH

  Floyd, why are you blowing your wig? What’s on the radio?

  FLOYD

  The end of the world! Aliens...from Mars…are here and plugging every person in sight. Dollface, we got to go!

  BEULAH

  Aliens? On the radio?

  FLOYD

  Yeah!

  BEULAH

  Was it a story, or someone official saying it?

  FLOYD

  I’d call the Secretary of Int…Int…Interior an ‘official’, wouldn’t you?

  BEULAH

  Yeah, I guess. What else they say?

  FLOYD

  These aliens were flying around in their tin cans, killing people with fire and smothering them with poison smoke. They bumped off New York from the map. Wiped it clean off! It won’t be long till we’re next!

  BEULAH

  Well…umm…umm….

  Beat.

  BEULAH

  What’ll we do?

  FLOYD

  I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We can make tracks down to Cousin Hank’s