The Great Carbuncle Read online

JOHN

  We killed Seeker.

  PIGGSNORTO

  No, we didn't.

  JOHN

  Wha...yes, we did. We pushed him over!

  PIGGSNORTO

  I say he fell.

  JOHN

  He fell?

  PIGGSNORTO

  That's what I say. All you say the same thing?

  CACAPHODEL

  I believe he wandered away when we weren't paying attention, and we never saw him again.

  DE VERE

  Lost in the woods and froze to death. Happens all the time, I hear.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Yeah, that sounds good.

  JOHN

  But...we...

  PIGGSNORTO faces off with JOHN.

  PIGGSNORTO

  None of us wants to go to prison for a lie. I've got a good business and a family to take care of. I say what the doc says.

  CACAPHODEL

  I'm a respectable scientist. The world needs me. I can't be imprisoned for this.

  DE VERE

  I'm a Lord of the English Empire. Murder is below me. I believe he left us out in the cold to fend for ourselves.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Yeah, I think so, too. How about you, old man? You're pretty quiet. What you say?

  Beat.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  I have to see where that forgery fell.

  PIGGSNORTO

  It fell in a river. It's gone.

  CACAPHODEL

  It wouldn't be wise to place yourself next to the body.

  DE VERE

  Yes. Listen to good advice. Seeker is gone, as is the Great Carbuncle.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  It never existed!

  DE VERE

  Then why go looking for it?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  I have to find it. I have to!

  PIGGSNORTO

  I think you have to stay with us, or else Seeker's gonna get some company. What you say to that?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  Mr. Piggsnorto, I'm old and don't have much to live for. If you feel the need to throw me over the ledge too, then do it. However, I'm going to search for that crystal if you don't stop me. So? What's your decision?

  Beat.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  If I'm apprehended by the authorities, I'll confirm our lie.

  CHILLINGWORTH exits.

  PIGGSNORTO

  You better!

  JOHN

  Are we really going to pretend like this never happened?