No Touching Read online

  ROBERT

  I wanted to.

  ROBERT moves towards JAKE again.

  ROBERT

  Jake, I...

  JAKE

  What?

  ROBERT

  I want you.

  JAKE

  No.

  Beat.

  ROBERT moves towards JAKE again.

  JAKE

  No!

  JAKE punches ROBERT with all HIS strength. ROBERT falls on the ground and cries without weeping.

  JAKE (CONT.)

  I…didn't mean...you kissed me, Robert! Why the hell did you do that? What's' wrong with you?!?

  JAKE runs into the bedroom. A quick shuffling of clothes into a suitcase can be heard. ROBERT doesn’t move.

  JAKE comes back with a suitcase in hand and goes to the door.

  ROBERT

  Jake…

  JAKE stops.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  Jake…

  JAKE leaves. ROBERT stays on the floor.

  END ACT II, SCENE III

  ACT II, SCENE IV

  ROBERT is standing before a blank canvas on the easel. HE holds a paintbrush loosely in HIS hand.

  Beat.

  SFX: ROBERT’s phone rings.

  HE looks at the caller ID, but doesn’t answer it. It stops ringing.

  SFX: ROBERT’s phone rings again.

  HE answers it again in the feminine voice.

  ROBERT

  What mom?...I’m having a bad day. What do you want?...Really? That’s why you called? No “What’s wrong with you” or anything? We’re going straight into that topic?...You don’t have to worry about that anymore…I’m not going to see her again…Don’t you even want to know why?...Never mind….No, you don’t really care…You only care, because I made you feel bad…At least it’s the truth. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?

  ROBERT tosses the paintbrush.

  ROBERT

  …So?...

  ROBERT drops the feminine act.

  …You what?!?...Why did you tell them that? I have shows to go to this week. I can’t visit and show off my paintings to your friends. I’m busy!...You could have asked…I don’t call you regularly, because you always try to run my life for me….Yes you do!......I am dealing with my problem. You’re the one who doesn’t understand…Your best isn’t good enough…You leave me alone, you let me live my life, and stop trying to make me someone I’m not!

  ROBERT hangs up the phone. Still furious, he grabs his painting supplies and throws them across the room. HE pushes the easel over, stomps on the canvas, and goes through the whole room messing everything up. Breathless, HE sits in the middle of the room and then starts to cry.

  END ACT II, SCENE IV

  ACT II, SCENE V

  SFX: ROBERT’s phone rings.

  No one answers.

  SFX: knocking on the front door.

  LIZA (OS)

  Hey, Robert. You here?

  SHE opens the door and sees the mess.

  LIZA

  Have you seen my sash…Oh, my god! Robert, are you okay?

  ROBERT slowly walks out of the bedroom. LIZA runs over and hugs HIM.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  What happened here?

  Beat.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Robert, what happened here?

  ROBERT walks over to a stack of photos.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Your paintings? I don’t understand.

  ROBERT rips a picture in half and tosses the pieces.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Why did you do that?

  ROBERT rips another.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Robert?

  ROBERT rips another.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Robert!

  ROBERT stops.

  ROBERT

  He’s gone.

  LIZA

  Who? Jake?

  ROBERT

  Yeah, Jake’s gone. He ran away.

  LIZA

  Why?

  ROBERT

  I scared him.

  LIZA

  What did you do?

  ROBERT

  I don’t think it’s what I did. At least not the thing that made me push him away.

  LIZA

  Did you do all of this?

  ROBERT nods.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Why? You get the wrong medication or something?

  ROBERT

  I guess. Been pretending to be what I’m not for too long. It finally caught up with me.

  ROBERT goes to the refrigerator and gets out some soymilk.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  Thirsty?

  LIZA

  Get a hold of yourself, Robert. What the hell is wrong with you?

  ROBERT pours some into a cup, but leaves the carton out and the fridge door open.

  ROBERT

  Why did you sleep with him?

  LIZA

  I…

  Beat.

  ROBERT

  I already know what happened. Just tell me why.

  LIZA

  Because…I don’t know.

  ROBERT

  I need a better answer.

  LIZA

  I don’t have one.

  ROBERT

  I think you do.

  LIZA

  He’s just another guy, Robert. Another man waiting in line for the ride, you know? What’s the big deal?

  ROBERT

  He’s not just another man to me!

  LIZA

  Robert, I’m getting weird vibes from you.

  ROBERT

  So does everyone else. What makes you special?

  LIZA

  Do you have a thing for Jake?

  Beat.

  ROBERT

  I didn’t mean to. I’m a man now, so I thought I’d learn how to be one better if I let him live here. I also thought he was cute, but I ignored it. “If he’s handsome, and he’s willing to be friends with me, then I guess I must be somewhat attractive too.” I didn’t think I’d start to really like him, just like I didn’t think I’d start to really like you.

  LIZA

  This…is too weird.

  ROBERT

  Well, I can’t help it. I was born this way. But what I can’t understand is why you slept with Jake.

  LIZA

  I told you already.

  ROBERT

  Because he was in line for the ride?

  LIZA

  Yes.

  ROBERT

  Do you want him?

  LIZA

  What does that have to do with it?

  ROBERT

  Do…you…want him?

  LIZA

  Enough.

  ROBERT

  More than you want me?

  LIZA

  You? You’re…

  ROBERT

  I’m a what?

  LIZA

  Drop it, Robert.

  ROBERT

  I can’t drop it. I won’t. I have to know, Liza. What am I? Tell me!

  LIZA

  You’re…you’re…

  ROBERT

  I’m a what?

  LIZA

  You’re a freak! Yeah, you’re a freak. I don’t know what the hell to think about you. Are you really a man or a woman trapped in a man’s…

  ROBERT smiles and shakes HIS head at how inappropriate that was.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  Why is this all my fault? I’m a hooker. I screw for cash. That’s what I do.

  ROBERT

  How much did you charge him?

  LIZA

  I gave him his…

  ROBERT knows the end of the sentence.

  ROBERT

  …You gave him his money back.

  LIZA

  Yes. He was the best client I ever had, and he earned it. You know how long it’s been since I actually enjoyed doing it? I don’t give refunds for really good kisses.

  ROBERT

&
nbsp; What did he do to earn it?

  LIZA

  You have no right to ask that.

  ROBERT

  I’m asking anyway.

  LIZA

  Why? It’s not like you could do any of it.

  ROBERT

  I…could--

  LIZA

  --you can’t!

  ROBERT

  …could do…things.

  LIZA

  No, you can’t.

  ROBERT

  I can feel. Liza, I can feel.

  LIZA

  Feel? Feel?!? How can you ever feel anything when you make damn sure no one even touches you?

  Beat.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  And what the hell do you know about feeling? It isn’t all sex, Robert. I’m living proof of that. It’s nice to have to have someone to talk to, but what does it matter if you can’t get off with them? But I guess you’ll never be able to find that out.

  Beat.

  ROBERT

  Get out.

  LIZA

  I’m sorry. I didn’t--

  ROBERT

  --Get out!

  LIZA

  This is who you really are? Pay me, get what you want, then kick me out of your life forever.

  ROBERT

  Get…out.

  LIZA

  You’re just like every other man I’ve ever known.

  Beat.

  ROBERT

  Go!

  LIZA

  I’m gone!

  LIZA runs out of the room. ROBERT waits till HE thinks SHE’s out of hearing distance, and then HE falls to HIS knees and weeps.

  Beat.

  ROBERT slams HIS fist on the ground with each question.

  ROBERT

  What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?!?

  ROBERT leans over on the ground and sobs. LIZA slowly walks back into the room.

  Beat.

  ROBERT stops crying and tries to regain some dignity.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  I don’t need your pity.

  LIZA

  I’m not giving it.

  ROBERT

  Leave me alone.

  LIZA

  …No.

  ROBERT

  Yes.

  LIZA

  No!

  ROBERT

  Why not!

  LIZA

  I don’t know! Just give me a second to think.

  ROBERT

  About what?

  LIZA

  About this! Us. What is this?

  ROBERT

  I don’t know, Liza. I have absolutely no idea what we are.

  Beat.

  ROBERT (CONT.)

  All I ever wanted was to be with someone.

  LIZA

  Why me?

  ROBERT

  What?

  LIZA

  Why did it have to be me? You…you treat me like no one else ever has. You actually want to know how my day went, why I’m in a bad mood…or if my butt still stings when I sit down. Why did you do those things, Robert? Why do you care so damn much?

  ROBERT

  I…

  LIZA

  I’ve never had any of that! Not from anyone! Now, I can’t even work a client without wondering how long until you call me again.

  ROBERT

  I’m sorry.

  LIZA

  You should be! Look at me! I’m a total wreck.

  Beat.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  How is this going to work? Hmm? How?

  ROBERT

  What do you need from me?

  LIZA

  How am I supposed to answer that?

  ROBERT

  Tell me what you need, and I’ll be it.

  LIZA

  I…what?

  ROBERT

  I don’t know what I’m supposed to be anymore. Man, woman. Just…tell me what you need, and I’ll be it.

  LIZA

  No.

  ROBERT

  Please.

  LIZA

  No. I can’t make that kind of decision for you.

  ROBERT

  Yes you can. You know me better than anyone else.

  LIZA

  I hardly know you, Robert!

  ROBERT

  You know me better than my adoptive parents, my manager, my fellow artists, Jake…you know me better than any of them.

  LIZA

  I’m not going to make that decision for you. I can’t.

  ROBERT

  But-

  LIZA

  -No!

  ROBERT

  Then I’m nothing.

  Beat.

  LIZA

  I wish you were nothing. I can ignore nothing. Nothing doesn’t make crazy like this. Nothing doesn’t call me beautiful and make me laugh about my worthless life. Nothing doesn’t make me feel bad when I know I’ve hurt you. Nothing does nothing but let me survive another day anyway I can. But you…you…

  LIZA is so frustrated that SHE lightly slaps ROBERT. SHE hits HIM again and again on the shoulder until SHE breaks down and ROBERT has to hold HER in HIS arms.

  LIZA (CONT.)

  I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

  LIZA sits up and wipes the tears away.

  ROBERT

  No, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

  LIZA

  This is so messed up, Robert.

  ROBERT

  I know.

  LIZA

  Don’t change. Not for me. Okay? Just be…whatever you want. It doesn’t matter. Do whatever makes you happy.

  ROBERT

  Okay.

  LIZA

  And don’t think I can be a different woman, because I can’t. I’ve tried, and I just can’t do it.

  ROBERT

  You’re perfect how you are now.

  LIZA laughs.

  LIZA

  Yeah, I’m real model, I bet.

  ROBERT

  Liza…when I paint someone, I get to look into their soul. I can’t describe to you how wonderful that is. I see who they really are, and all that they could be. When I paint, it’s only to show everyone else what I can see.

  LIZA

  And what do you see? What do you see in me?

  ROBERT

  Beauty.

  ROBERT and LIZA kiss.

  END ACT II, SCENE V

  THE END